When All Pride is Lost, Blame Axel
by S.N.Sterling
Summary: After dating him for a solid eight months, Roxas knew Axel Maddox was a complete and utter asshole. Oh yes, he knew just how much of a cocky bastard the redhead could be with his arrogant tendencies and bad boy appearance, but he'd never seen this coming. Never in his life did Roxas think Axel would be this much of an asshole. AkuRoku/Yaoi, Lime, Humor, AU


**Warnings: Language. Lots and lots of it. Be warned. Mentions of smut between two guys.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still broke. C'mon, seriously, when do I get the copyright for these guys?**

**A/N: Just kinda dug this out from my documents and decided to finish it off. Mostly just a shit load of humor, so enjoy.~**

After dating him for a solid eight months, Roxas knew Axel Maddox was a complete and utter asshole. Oh yes, he knew just how much of a cocky bastard the redhead could be with his arrogant tendencies and bad boy appearance, but he'd never seen _this _coming. Never in his life did Roxas think Axel would be _this much _of an asshole. Now, why exactly was Roxas having these sorts of thoughts about his boyfriend at this specific moment in time? Well…

"Fucking Axel and his fucking ideas…What makes him think he's so _smart _for sending me out here to do this?" Roxas grumbled unhappily under his breath as he jerked his car keys out of the ignition of Axel's 2011 Ford F-150. Yes, he had his own key to his boyfriend's truck after being with him for almost a year. After all, his own parents were too stingy to buy him his own car even though he was seventeen and fully eligible to drive. Besides, it was so much easier to just stay over at Axel's house and drive the redhead's truck when he wasn't using it. Things were just more convenient that way.

Reaching over to the glove box, Roxas promptly fumbled with the little pull on it before managing to get the compartment open so he could dig around for his wallet. After a moment or two of shuffling through papers, insurance cards, vehicle registration forms, and whatever else had piled up over the years, the blond managed to grasp his black leather wallet – the one that had been a birthday present from Axel just a couple months ago.

"Jeez…Does he even know what he's doing to me by making me do this?" The young male muttered to himself while he shut the glove box and moved to open the door on his left. Warm fall air spilled into the truck from the outside and brushed along Roxas' skin as the blond checked his wallet and keys before stuffing both into his pocket. Making sure that he was at least presentable to the public, he hopped out of the Ford and made sure to lock the doors along the way, slamming the sleek black driver side door shut once his feet hit the ground.

The seventeen year old dragged his hands down the front of his black and grey striped Old Navy jacket to fix a few wrinkles before he stuffed his hands in the pockets and turned on his Converse-clad heels to face the front of his current demise. _Wal-Mart. _

"I hate this place," Roxas groaned under his breath though he couldn't will his feet to stop as they carried him towards the large tan block of a building. That stupid bright yellow logo stood out against the tan color, and the teen couldn't help it as another groan escaped his lips. Why couldn't he have just gone to Walgreens or CVS or something? Why did it have to be Wal-Mart of all places? Oh yeah. Because Axel said so.

Making his way to the front doors and feeling a bit 'rebellious', the blond entered through the exit door just before running into a couple who hadn't been paying attention as they pushed their grocery cart out the door and into the parking lot. "People at Wal-Mart…" He muttered to himself as he sent the flustering woman a glare though she was too busy sneaking kisses from her boyfriend or husband or whatever the hell he was to notice.

"C'mon, Roxas…Just gotta get this over with." The teen encouraged himself as he shrunk down into his jacket more and stepped onto the white linoleum tiles that marked the actual beginning of the store. He decided to skip getting a cart, the idea of getting what he needed and getting out of this place pushing him to hurry his pace as his feet carried him towards…wait, where exactly was he supposed to go? Pausing for a moment, Roxas finally let himself realize he had absolutely no idea where he was supposed to get…_those things…_at. And Axel had never told him either.

"He did this on purpose," was the only comment that slipped past the blond's lips before he turned and made his way towards the back of the store where the bathrooms were. He'd just sneak into the family bathroom, call Axel, ask him where the stuff was, and then be on his merry way.

Of course, it was never that simple.

As soon as he'd reached the bathrooms, the sound of an older man's moaning entered his mind with coughing and gagging of another male following. And where had it been coming from? The family restroom, of course. Needless to say, Roxas was blushing fiercely and storming off to some other part of the store before he decided to just settle for the shoe section, plopping down on one of the stools they had set out for people who were using the designated area properly.

Tapping his foot on the ground impatiently, the blond dug through his pants pockets for his phone before turning it on and nearly instantly dialing Axel's number. Oh, the redhead would get an earful about this later. It would've been right then, but apparently Axel's voicemail had become Roxas' new best friend in the past five minutes. Six calls and the asshole hadn't picked up his phone even once.

Growling in the back of his throat and sighing heavily in partial defeat, the blond shoved his cell phone back in his pocket and let his head hang low. Great. What was he supposed to do now? Ask a store employee? But that'd be awkward as hell…

Oh well. He had no choice. Axel had told him to prove himself, and by all hell he was going to do exactly that.

Roxas planted his hands on his knees before he shoved himself back up onto his feet and checked his pockets to make sure nothing had fallen out in the midst of his frustration. "Axel…I swear I'm going to kill you later," he grumbled under his breath irritably before he looked around and decided to at least take a general guess as to where he would need to go. _"Pharmacy probably…Or where they have all the health supplies," _the blond decided in his mind, reluctantly forcing his feet to carry him through the mobs of people that streamed down the aisles.

His fingers absently played with a piece of lint that rested in the corner of his jacket as he made his way down the linoleum path, regretting each step more and more. Every ounce of his earlier anger and aggravation was beginning to slip into slight nervousness as he got closer to his goal. It was easy storming around Wal-Mart and being pissed off at your boyfriend for his stupid antics and ideas, but once you actually had to face _other _people about said antics, things got a whole lot scarier.

Hence why once he reached the pharmacy area, Roxas absolutely refused to walk up to one of the employees that was roaming around and ask them about his current issue. Instead, the blond found himself wandering around aisles aimlessly as dulling cerulean eyes scanned the shelves for what he was in need of.

"_Stupid Axel and his stupid ideas…Whose genius plan was it to make the virgin go buy condoms and lube when he's never done it before anyways? Oh yeah. His." _Roxas thought bitterly as he wandered around, trying to shrink down even more before his eyes picked out a single word on a little box off to his right – _condoms. _

"Final-fucking-ly," he groaned exhaustedly while he shuffled over to the small area, biting at his bottom lip as he looked around for anyone he might know. How embarrassing would _that _be? Roxas Moore – one of the most popular seventeen year olds at Twilight Central because he was male and still a virgin –buying _condoms._

Once he was sure no one he knew too well was behind him, the blond let his eyes roam over all of the packages, sighing slightly under his breath. God there were so many _types_ of condoms. Wasn't there some universal thing? Besides, he had no idea how…_big _Axel was below the waist. Yes, he'd been with him for eight months, but that didn't mean he knew everything about the guy's body. After all, they hadn't gone very far during their frequent make out sessions until now when Roxas had specifically told Axel he was tired of having so much attention because he was a virgin and he had pretty much fallen in love with the redhead so he was alright with sex. Plus, the fact Axel had been trying to get him into his bed for the past two months helped with the decision quite a bit.

"Maybe…I'll just get whatever and prove to him I know _how _to have safe sex, and he'll already have stuff so it won't be so bad…" Roxas muttered to himself as he tried to wrack his brain for any idea of what would even begin to be Axel's size. He knew for sure that the redhead was a little over average from what the bastard seemed to boast about all the time along with rumors he heard floating through school. Deciding to just go with his gut on this one, the blond reached out and grabbed one of the boxes from the shelf, hoping to high hell that Axel wouldn't get onto him about it. Just when his fingers wrapped around the cardboard boxing, the all too familiar voice of one of his best friends reached the teen's ears.

"Roxas! Hey!" _Shit. Roxas Moore. Caught in the act. Death – October 9__th__, 2012. _Turning quickly, the blond's eyes settled on his best female friend; a girl with wavy brown hair that rested over her shoulders and knowing green eyes. In her hand was a small grocery basket with just a couple of things that Roxas couldn't identify. It wasn't until the girl started walking towards him that he realized the box of condoms was still painstakingly present in his hands and facing the brunette.

"O-Olette! Uh, hey. W-what're you doing here?" Shit, was he stuttering? The teen mentally cursed at himself before he quickly moved his hands behind his back to hide his 'grocery'.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm just picking up a few things for Hayner and Pence. I saw you over here and decided to drop by! So, what are _you _doing here?" Roxas bit at the inside of his lip while he thought of a way to respond, eyes diverting to the side for a few moments before returning to Olette's face occasionally. Maybe it would be safe to tell her…

"U-uh…I lost a bet with Axel. So um…I had to come here of all places and err…buy stuff for sex…" He grumbled, reluctantly removing his hands from behind his back to prove his reasoning for being at the store. The blond was sure that a shocked expression resided on his best friend's face, but he was all too wrong, and that was proven when suddenly Olette began giggling and shaking her head at the blond's nervousness.

"You're going to have sex with Axel aren't you?" _How can you say it so easily but I can't…?_ Blush from earlier coming back to his cheeks, the blond just gave a curt nod and sighed in defeat. Olette knew it all; it was inevitable. Woman's intuition or something, right? "Psh, here, let me help you with this. You're doing it all wrong, Roxas." Blinking slightly in surprise, Roxas just let his friend take the box from his hands, both of them burying themselves back into his jacket pockets while he quietly watched the younger brunette scan over the other boxes.

"It's not my fault I don't know anything…Axel didn't tell me what I needed to know. He did this on purpose," the blond grumbled his explanation though it was simply waved off before a new box was held out to him.

"I know, Rox. Here, take this one. And uh…let's see…" Olette trailed off as she scuttled off to another section of the aisle, leaving Roxas to watch after her and wonder how she of all people knew these things. Maybe it was because she had actually gone to the sex education classes while he skipped every awful day that class popped up. In only a minute or two, the brunette was back and holding a white bottle with an orange cap out to her friend. "And that should be it as far as you're concerned." She said with a thoughtful smile that made Roxas thank the high heavens she was his best friend.

"Thanks, Olette…" He murmured with a sheepish smile before rubbing at the back of his head and letting out a heavy sigh. "Now I just have to get home and take care of whatever teasing Axel's got in store for me."

"Say, why did Axel _really _make you come out here? Doesn't he already have this stuff?" The girl asked with a small tilt of her head, shifting the basket on her arm to position it a bit better. Roxas just shrugged and groaned under his breath.

"He wants me to prove I know how to have safe sex. I have this sinking feeling he's going to go as far as making me finger myself later too—"

"Okay, okay, don't need that image…" Olette quickly interrupted, this time letting out her own sigh before her smile was back and she was waving goodbye. "Well, anyways, you two have fun. If I don't see you at school tomorrow, I'll keep my mouth shut!" She called out while she made her way back to the main aisle, smirking just the tiniest bit within that smile of hers. Roxas nearly hit his head on the shelf closest to him.

"Why do my friends have to be so weird?" The blond groaned before he shoved his hands into his pockets and stalked towards the cash register, just wanting to be out of damned _Wal-Mart _already; even if it meant dealing with Axel.

Sighing as he made his way to the surprisingly empty twenty items or less line, Roxas removed his hands from his pockets and gently set his two items on the counter and reached into his pocket for his wallet. He was so close to leaving…so close to safety—

"Pharmacy price check on Trojan Magnum Lubricated Condoms twelve pack." _What? _For a minute, Roxas didn't know what was going on – just the fact there had been an intercom crackling a minute ago and that the employee in front of him was giving him a curious look, her eyes drifting just a little too low for comfort. As soon as it registered, Roxas was reeling backwards with a blush the color of his boyfriend's hair and hiding his face in his hands, shoulders shaking nervously. _Axel. I'm going to castrate you when I get home. _

"T-that's not…I-it's for someone else." He grumbled to the clerk once some of his sense came back, face still the color of a bright cherry. Not able to read the amused look on the woman's face, Roxas just shoved his money at her once payment had been calculated and grabbed his bag from the little carousel before huffing and practically running the rest of the way outside and to the truck he had arrived in.

Once he was safe and sound in the confinements of his borrowed Ford, the blond grabbed his phone again and huffed, annoyed, before calling Axel's number just to meet the cocky message of his voicemail once again. This time though, he decided to leave a message. "Axel. When I get back, I'm going to kick. Your. Ass."

-o-o-o-

Growling and biting back a dozen curses as he yanked open the front door of Axel's house, Roxas trudged inside just to kick off his dirt-streaked converse, not paying much mind to where the dirty grey shoes landed.

"Axel! I'm back!" He called out while he turned and pulled the front door shut surprisingly gently so as to not disturb anyone in the nearby houses. Slamming doors could get you into a whole lot of trouble where the redhead lived if someone jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"Took ya long enough," came Axel's reply as he leaned against the wall at the top of the stairs, a single red eyebrow raised in amusement. Roxas just huffed and turned to make his way towards the steps, plastic Wal-Mart bag clutched in hand.

"You're a complete ass, you know that? I embarrassed the hell out of myself tod—" Suddenly his words were cut off by a pair of warm lips on his own, and the blond was just about to pull back to keep his scolding going on but it was too late once Axel's hands were on his shoulders and pulling him closer despite the difference in steps between them. Sighing slightly in defeat, the blond decided to let himself return the kiss for now until the taller teen broke away first with a stupid little cocky grin in place.

"Sorry for making you embarrass yourself. Did you find what I told you to find?" The redhead asked with a smooth tone that simply made Roxas halfway forget why he was so blisteringly angry at the man earlier. Stubbornly, the blond just nodded and raised the bag in his right hand.

"Yeah I did, you asshole. But we're using whatever you already have because you never told me how…err…big you are…" Roxas grumbled before pushing past his boyfriend to make his way up the stairs. "I hope you don't mind that. I did manage to get condoms and lube though. Just to prove I know what I have to get for safe sex. I'm not _that _uneducated." He stated fairly boldly despite the nervousness and remaining anger he was hiding before he made it to the top of the steps and turned to face Axel with a slightly disapproving look. "Well what are you waiting for? Aren't you the one who's wanted to fuck me for months now?"

Almost as if those words were a trigger, Roxas could tell that the gleam in Axel's eyes changed from a mischievous, amused glint to one of premature lust. He internally rolled his eyes and smirked at the redhead before throwing his Wal-Mart bag at him and taking off down the hall towards his boyfriend's bedroom. He didn't even pay attention to the shout he received because of his actions, already pushing open the bedroom door and making the long jump to the bed he'd gotten used to over the time he spent with Axel.

Laughing slightly to himself, Roxas pushed himself up into a sitting position and tried to ebb away the sudden nervousness he was feeling. His earlier anger and frustration had already downgraded to a dull little roar in the back of his head that he'd take care of later though it just opened the flood gates for his nervousness. It was pretty much the same thing that happened earlier at the store. Being pissed off at Axel and at Wal-Mart itself had been replaced by the nervousness that came with suddenly being in a more awkward position. Now it was just that being pissed off at Axel had turned into the nervousness of having a lustful, Roxas-craving Axel in the same room in a matter of seconds. Speaking of which…Oops, the door just opened.

"Let's see…what _exactly_ did Roxy decide to get on his little venture to Wal-Mart?" The sickeningly wicked way Axel _asked _that sent a wave of horror through the smaller blond as he watched with nervous blue eyes. The redhead's hand was dipping into the white plastic bag, his legendary and well-known smirk plastered on his face.

"You better not say anything about it, you fucktard. I tried at least," Roxas ended up huffing as he stared down his boyfriend to register the slightest twitch of his lips or the simplest rise of an eyebrow. Only, what he saw wasn't the _slightest _twitch or the _smallest _rise; no, what he saw was how that fucking smirk turned into a grin not even the _Cheshire Cat _could rival.

"I'm surprised you got this close. Did someone _help _you?" The redhead questioned with an amused shine covering his sharp features. Roxas could only stare and open his mouth to say no before the sudden realization of _how Olette was there at _exactly the right time _hit him._

"You! You sent Olette there to help embarrass me, didn't you?" The blond shouted, not even noticing it when his lips naturally curled into an unhappy, bemused pout. And what was Axel doing? Standing there laughing his ass off as Roxas realized he literally _had _been completely set up by his redheaded asshole of a boyfriend. "You're awful!" The younger teen tried to whine, not looking at this situation in even the tiniest bit of a positive perspective.

"I'm not _awful_, Roxy. I'm just…entertained," Axel stated with that grin still stuck on his face like a horrible-yet-completely-sexy-at-the-same-time curse. "Don't be so stuck up. You're getting laid for the first time in your life. Don't wanna screw it up, right?" And that alone was enough for Roxas to yank one of Axel's Memory Foam pillows from the bed and send it flying at the redhead.

And the blond wouldn't even lie if he said it hit the other man square in the face and sent him stumbling back three feet.

A triumphant smirk tugged at his lips when he was met with the scowl Axel was presenting to him. Well, at least they were on even ground now; as even as it got anyways. It was amazing how something as simple as literally wiping the smug look off Axel's face seemed to visibly brighten Roxas' mood.

"Bold move there, blondie…" Even when the redhead was practically _growling _and _stalking _towards him, pillow long forgotten by the door, Roxas didn't seem to be able to stop himself from having that happy, successful smirk on his lips.

"It _was_ bold, wasn't it? Not as bold as when I dealt with the cashier fucking announcing those condoms over the intercom and giving my crotch a good stare down though," the blond pointed out with a growing smirk. He didn't miss it when Axel paused for a second in his advance before he was making his way closer again.

"Someone was staring down your crotch? Mm, sure wish I had been in _their _shoes," the redhead purred slightly, making sure that Roxas wouldn't get to have all the fun in this as he climbed on top of the smaller blond and shoved him down on his back, strong hands nearly immediately seeking out thin wrists to pin to the mattress.

"Mm, oh _yeah._ She seriously thought those condoms were for me too. Funny isn't it?" The younger male asked as he was pinned down, shifting to get more comfortable. He was already used to his position – he'd gotten forced into it a lot – so it wasn't like he was going to struggle to get free. Yet.

"Roxas, I don't think that petite little frame of yours could _contain _a cock big enough for one of those." At that, the blond couldn't help himself from blushing and huffing a little. Oh god. So just because he was a bit shorter, his penis had to be too? Where the hell was the logic in _that_?

"I bet mine's just as big as yours, dipshit," Roxas countered unhappily, biting at his lip to stop a sudden noise that threatened to escape when he felt a warm pair of lips and a seeking tongue on the skin of his neck. He shuddered softly and shifted beneath Axel, glancing at the redhead as best as he could.

"I doubt that, Roxy. Now, I've been waiting months to take you like this. We can continue talking _after _fucking." Roxas just rolled his eyes at the words, pouting slightly for a moment when he couldn't continue the conversation before a sudden gasp slipped from his lips when Axel decided to bite down on that _one _little spot behind his ear.

"Y-you're just afraid to lose the discussion," the blond countered before he was promptly shut up by a harsh roll of hips that collided with his own. He gasped in a breath, holding it for a minute before slowly letting it out in the form of a soft moan when Axel decided to just rub against his crotch like it was nothing as his teeth and tongue teased that sweet spot he'd found a while ago.

He felt the little smug look that took over the redhead's features again once he managed to get him quiet except for the small moans or gasps Roxas would emit because of this bite or that grind. In all honesty, the blond wasn't that surprised to already feel the hardening outline of his boyfriend's member a few minutes later as their hips moved together, somewhat pleased when Axel began to make his own noises.

And it continued like that for a while; grinding and dry thrusting against each other while still fully clothed until things _really _got moving when Axel decided he forgot what the word patience meant. And when Axel forgot what patience meant, he _really _forgot it.

It hadn't taken long at all for both of the older teens to be stripped stark naked – Roxas had done a lot of unhappy blushing and disrespectful comment-making when Axel decided to use _that _time to continue their banter about penis sizes – but fortunately, it didn't last too long because Axel decided he wanted Roxas, and he wanted him _then._

It had definitely hurt a _fuck ton _at first, and Roxas was well-proven that Axel was right when he doubted that the two of them were the same size, but it didn't stay painful for too long. Luckily, Axel was pretty much just as good in bed as anyone ever whispered about him to be. He knew how to be gentle at first, when to kiss the blond and wipe the few pained tears away, and when to move faster or harder, angle his hips this way or that. Oh, and the redhead _had _to have been a prostate-finding god. Not even five minutes of being inside his boyfriend, and he already had Roxas conflicted between whining from pain and moaning from the hot pleasure of hit prostate being hit and teased.

Needless to say, even if it hurt at first – Axel reassured Roxas that it was always like that no matter whom you did it with pretty much – it was definitely a choice Roxas hadn't regretted once he woke up somewhere around midnight. Until he tried to stand anyways.

"Fuck!" The cry was loud and pained as the blond crashed to the floor, his ass sticking up behind him as he landed on his knees and forearms, glaring at the wall across from him. Fucking wonderful. It was pitch black, Axel was sound asleep and snoring his little head off, Roxas was currently on the floor, his ass was _on fire,_ and he had to pee like Niagara Falls.

Great. Absolutely great.

Sighing some and muttering curse after curse under his breath, Roxas tried to reach out to his right, feeling around for the edge of the bed. Once his slim fingers grasped the soft red comforter Axel rarely changed, he tightened his grip and scooted his way closer to the bed before placing both hands on the mattress to try and heave himself back up onto the stupid thing.

It took effort, as in a _lot _of effort, but the blond managed to get himself back on the bed with nothing more than a pained wince and slight whine. He looked around the darkness that was somehow still classified as a room, just barely seeing the outlines of a few things scattered on the floor because of the illumination of streetlights seeping under the breaks in the blinds. He sighed and shifted a little, trying to ignore the flaring pain in his backside as his eyes met with his boyfriend's sleeping form.

"You're a damn asshole, you know that?" He hissed unhappily, reaching over to punch the redhead's shoulder as hard as he could from his position. Luckily enough, something finally went right and Axel flinched, squirming about in his spot for a few moments before his eyes cracked open ever so slightly.

"Roxas…? The fuck did you just punch me for…?" He asked groggily, tired emeralds slipping closed again just to be jolted open again by the impact of a harsh smack to his bicep. "What do you _want?_"

"I _want _to pee. And if you don't help me up so I can use the toilet, your sheets will be terribly stained in the morning," Roxas huffed unhappily, moving to cross his arms some as Axel just rose a curious, drowsy brow at him.

"Just go pee then…"

"I can't. _Someone _made it awfully difficult to walk remember?" It took Axel a minute, but the realization suddenly clicked in the dozy redhead's mind, and he laughed at the words. However, that didn't get him very far as he received another aggravated punch to his arm. "Ow, ow, shit…Okay, give me a second…" He groaned, making his way out from under the warmth of his sheets and comforter to join Roxas on the other side and help him up.

"Axel, hurry up. I have to go like a damn waterfall right now," Roxas whined when his boyfriend decided to take his time in actually walking him to the bathroom. It should've taken thirty seconds at the most, but lazy-ass Axel Maddox was making it take five days.

"Oh shut up… You're the one complaining it's hard to walk," Axel muttered, rolling his eyes as he decided to pick up his speed just for Roxas to lag behind and whine, wincing because of the rushed steps.

"Axel, stop! You're going too fast now, you bastard!"

"You just said I was going too slow!"

"That didn't meant you had to pick up your pace _that much_!"

"I didn't! I barely even moved faster!"

"Liar! I felt that shift in speed!"

"What shift in speed? There was barely one there!"

"Axel, shut up! I have to go pee, damn it!"

"Then fucking go pee— No, not on my damn floor, you asshole!"

End.

**A/N: And thus ends our story of virgin Roxas trying to make his way through life with a boyfriend who just doesn't know the right speed to get him to the bathroom. Sorry if it seems the writing style kind of changed somewhere in the middle; I picked this up randomly and couldn't exactly get back into how I was writing it before but I liked what I had and didn't want to restart it all. Also, sorry for the abrupt, nonsense ending I guess you can say. I really got brain dead. Hope you enjoyed anyways.~**


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